Trust and Kindness
by BloodRaevynn
Summary: Sequel to ~Shattered Reflections~ No longer able to use the Digital World as an outlet for his darker impulses, Ken is beginning to loose control of himself. [Angst, Dark, Sadism, Bondage, Lime, Yaoi] Kaisuke/Kensuke/Daiken. [Completed]
1. Prologue Loosing Control

A/N: I'm going to take this opportunity to say that I never had any intentions to write Digimon fics…that is, until I found myself identifying strongly with Ken, which is why I wrote "Shattered Reflections". I also didn't intend to write a sequel…for about the first three days after writing SR, that is… it took this long to write, because I couldn't figure out how to start it until today (Marin1x2, if you're reading this, it seems I spoke too soon about Cyra being a useless muse, within ten minutes of posting that review she hit me upside the head with inspiration [I must have annoyed her enough]). To round off this little note, I do not intend to write a sequel, or even to continue writing in this fandom; but by this point we all know that my intentions have very little to do with what I actually do, so we'll see…  
  
This should be about 2-3 chapters, plus prologue and epilogue…but again, we'll see…  
  
I'm using the original names (even though I've [unfortunately] only seen the dub), though I may use some of the dub names if, when, and where they make suitable nicknames and it is situation and character appropriate to do so (I don't really see Ken as being one to use nicknames in most cases, especially when he's being as serious as he is in this story).  
  
Disclaimer: Obviously, these characters are not mine; I wouldn't even know what to do with them if they were, though I can say for sure that I wouldn't have ended the series so idiotically.  
  
Warnings: Angst, Dark, a touch of Sadism and Bondage, possibly lime, yaoi (though the goings-on in this fic could be construed as an act of [_very_ close] friendship, given the particular circumstances and reasons for them), discussion of disturbing topics such as Suicide, Murder, and Rape.  
  
Warnings for this chapter: Angst, Dark.  
  
Pairing: Abortive Kenyako/Miyaken (mentioned only), Kaisuke/Kensuke/Daiken.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Prologue - Loosing Control  
  
Isn't it strange how sometimes one forgets why one got angry in the first place? I find this happens to me quite frequently. Not that I'm not the type to carry grudges; I'm really very good at that, it's just that if it's not something personal I tend not to carry it around. Daisuke seems to be very different from me in that respect.  
  
Like with that girl years ago, I don't remember exactly what Miyako said or did that made me snap, I just remember her sitting on the ground with a look of shock on her face after I'd hit her, and the drop of blood slowly making its way down her chin from her split lip. It came as no surprise to me when Takeru intercepted me on the way home from school the next day and dealt me a punch that left me reeling until well after he had told me I wasn't welcome among the Digidestined any longer and stalked away.  
  
I can't say I blamed him.  
  
Needless to say, there is no longer any chance of a further relationship between Miyako and I. I doubt there's even a chance of us becoming friends again.  
  
Now…now I'm afraid.  
  
I know that the reason I hurt Miyako has much less to do with my being angry with her, and more to do with the lack of an outlet for my darker inclinations; it was bound to happen sooner or later, she just happened to be the one who set me off. It's not like I can go back to being the Digimon Kaizer, now that I can no longer blind myself to the fact that they are living beings with minds and emotions.  
  
So I'm afraid…  
  
Mostly, I'm afraid that it might be Daisuke next time…it's ironic really that he's become my best friend…considering…  
  
A/N: I think the notes were longer than the fic! Review onegai shimasu! I'll post chapter 1 in a few days. 


	2. Chapter 1 Sitting on the Knife's Edge

A/N:  
  
Warnings for this Chapter: Angst, Dark, discussion of disturbing subjects such as Suicide, Murder, and Rape.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Chapter 1 - Sitting on the Knife's Edge  
  
The view from here is spectacular, now that I think about it.  
  
Unfortunately, I'm a bit more interested in calculating how long it would take me to hit the bottom and whether or not I'd hit the ground at a high enough velocity to die on impact; I suppose I should test the firmness of the ground and the resistance of the vegetation in order to arrive at an accurate conclusion. I then go off on a tangent, wondering what would happen to me if I died here in the digital world; would my data be re- formatted, like the Digimon? Really, there's only one way to know…  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?"  
  
I recognize the voice immediately, of course. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even hear my digivice beep when he arrived.  
  
"Um…I heard that in an American movie…" He waits, fidgeting, for a moment; when he realizes I'm not going to say anything, he speaks again. "Well…I uh, heard you hit Miyako…you wanna talk about it?" How like Daisuke…direct and to the point, with no tact whatsoever. "I mean, you guys have been dating for, like, a month, and I thought—"  
  
"It was just casual," I interject. "Kids our age don't get that serious about dating."  
  
"Well, yeah, but…" he sighs. "You still haven't explained why you hit her."  
  
"I don't see why I should have to explain myself,"  
  
"Because I'm your friend," he replies, sitting down beside me. "And if you can't talk to me, who can you talk to?"  
  
"I just hit her; and I don't particularly feel like discussing it." He's as close to the edge as I am; all it would take is a push…  
  
"Okaaay…" he leans back on his hands. "So, what were you doing before I came?"  
  
"Sitting and not talking." I want him to leave.  
  
"Ha, ha," he says, not quite sarcastically. "What were you thinking about?"  
  
"I doubt you would want to know what's going on in my head." I want him to go, before I hurt him.  
  
"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't ask."  
  
"I'm serious, Daisuke," I warn him; as I realize that I _will_ tell him if this continues much longer.  
  
"So am I."  
  
"You're very persistent."  
  
"I know." He smiles. "So tell me."  
  
I know he won't back down, so I do.  
  
"I was thinking about jumping. I was wondering what it would feel like to fall; if it would hurt when I hit the ground, or if I'd just die instantly." I look over to see the expression on his face. "And now that you're here, I'm thinking about pushing you off." Part of me is taking great pleasure in the fact that I can hurt him just with my words; and it's like a dam breaking. I feel a familiar sneer spread across my face and permeate my voice. "I'm wondering whether or not I'll be sad when you die."  
  
"Kaizer," he whispers, eyes widening in fear.  
  
"I'm thinking about pushing you up against that tree, tying your hands with my belt, tearing your clothes off, and raping you until you can't even scream." I stand up, and watch with amusement as he scurries backwards.  
  
"K-ken, stop this!" Daisuke yells. "You're stronger than him!"  
  
He doesn't understand; how could he?  
  
"I'm thinking of torturing you slowly until you die!" I'm shouting now; standing in front of him with a snarl on my face. "Would you like me to tell you _exactly_ how I'd do it?! What methods?! What instruments?! Do you _really_ want to KNOW!?!"  
  
"LET KEN GO!!!" Daisuke yells; partly in fear, partly in anger.  
  
I laugh.  
  
"You don't get it, do you, Daisuke? I _am_ Ken. There's no real division between Ken and Kaizer; there never was."  
  
"I thought this was over…" Daisuke whispers, looking lost.  
  
I shake my head; regaining my calm, my self-control.  
  
"The only thing that happened was that you forced me to stop blinding myself to the fact that Digimon were living, sentient beings; until then, I had an outlet for this, but now my morals keep me from using the Digimon. I stopped, I had no choice, but the part of me that wants to hurt people is still there.  
  
"I don't know what's wrong with me," I say, falling to my knees and putting my head in my hands. "I don't know why I'm like this. All I know is that I think about these things constantly; and I don't know how to stop it!"  
  
"Ken…" I felt his hands on my shoulders and he pulled me into an embrace. "We'll figure this out."  
  
  
  
A/N: Wow, that was intense to write! I can't believe it's as short as it is! 


	3. Chapter 2 Temporary Resolution

A/N: I've gotten some nice reviews so far. You might have to wait a bit longer for the next chapter though; I know where I want to go with this, just…not quite sure how to get there (story of my life). This is going to be a bit longer than I originally thought, and there most likely _will_ be a sequel; from Daisuke's perspective this time (remember what I said about my intentions? -_-;).  
  
This is a slightly boring, but entirely necessary chapter.  
  
Warnings: Angst, discussion of disturbing subjects.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Chapter 2 - Temporary Resolution  
  
"All of my darkest fantasies were…_are_ projected onto you."  
  
We're sitting together on his bed; we came straight here from the digital world.  
  
"Right from the beginning, from when I captured you, I started to imagine doing things to you." Daisuke blushes at this, most likely remembering the things I said before. "It didn't matter much to me then; you were my nemesis, you were a threat to me, and I was furious with you."  
  
"But," he interrupts "Why would you want to do…_that_ to me?"  
  
"Rape, you mean?" He nods. "Rape doesn't have anything to do with love or lust. The word in itself means 'to seize'; it's about power, and, for me, about causing pain. You were the first I ever thought about doing that to, though." I see the fear creep back into his eyes, though he's trying not to show it. "Don't worry; just because I think about these things, doesn't mean I'll do them. I have pretty good control over myself, all things considered; usually the first act of violence against a person scares me enough to snap out of it."  
  
"What if one day it's not?"  
  
I can't answer that. That's the thing that scares me more than anything; loosing control permanently.  
  
"Ken?"  
  
"If that happens…" I start, grasping for words, for an answer. "If that happens, I'll be too far gone to come back. I would rather die than be that way! Even if I were stopped and put somewhere where I couldn't hurt anyone, I'd rather die!"  
  
Daisuke laughs nervously. "Hey, don't ask me to kill you or anything; I don't think I could deal with that."  
  
"No, I'll do it myself if I think it's coming to that."  
  
"Don't talk like that!" He cried, grabbing my arms. "I don't want to hear it! I don't want you to think like that!" His grip is painful.  
  
"But I do. Don't you understand yet? I can't stop, no matter how hard I try." I close my eyes, but I can feel his looking at me sadly. "Things like this; killing myself, killing others…I can be passing a cutlery display in a store and it will occur to me how easy it would be to pick up one of the knives and stab the person next to me."  
  
"Just promise me one thing, okay?" he says, letting go. "Promise me that if you think it's going to come to that, you'll talk to me first."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Say it. You have to _promise_." I look at him.  
  
"I promise. I'll come to you first, if I think I'm loosing it."  
  
"Okay." He smiles weakly.  
  
"So anger's what makes you snap, right?" He asks.  
  
"I internalize stress and frustration," I reply. "When it builds up too much, it only takes a little anger to set it off."  
  
"But you weren't angry with _me_, were you?"  
  
"I was trying to drive you away. I let some of it out on purpose; but it got away from me a little more than I intended."  
  
"You mean when you went Kaizer on me."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So you were pretty much in control right then; I wasn't really in any danger from you."  
  
"I might have hit you or thrown something at you, but other than that I don't think so."  
  
"Y'know, when I get mad I yell a lot; I curse and scream and say things I don't mean and get all my feelings out. It feels great, really; letting it all out like that, the only problem is, it usually gets me in trouble; so when I start to get upset I go out an practice soccer, or I just run, and I throw all of my anger into that. That doesn't mean that I don't still blow up sometimes, but it doesn't happen as much. You can join me whenever you want, or just call up and invite _me_ to join _you_."  
  
I smile.  
  
"I think I will.  
  
"But, Daisuke…that doesn't change the things I think about, fantasize about…"  
  
"I know," he says, nodding. "But it's one thing you can do." 


	4. Chapter 3 Breaking Point

A/N: This took too long to finish. but I'm finally over the hump! One chapter and an epilogue to go, and it shouldn't be difficult to write; especially since I have a broken foot at the moment and nothing better to do.  
  
Warnings: More dark and disturbing content. Ken with a knife.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Chapter 3 - Breaking Point  
  
Daisuke's idea worked well enough for a time. Unfortunately, my tenuous friendship with the other Digidestined had already been damaged beyond repair; from what Daisuke told me, Miyako sported a bruise for nearly a week. I know that Daisuke has had to deal with some hostility because of his continued friendship with me.  
  
My relationship with Daisuke is growing closer; it seems we spend every second we can together now. He has a way of making me forget my problems; for some reason I can synchronize my emotions with his very easily, and I find myself becoming addicted to his presence. We rarely talk about my problems; I don't bring them up, and when he does, it's only to ask short, pointed questions. He's depending on me to bring the issue up if it starts to get out of hand, but I find that it's far too easy, when asked how I am, to always say that I'm fine.  
  
I'm not fine; I feel that I'm back on the knife's edge again.  
  
Maybe I should bring it up this time...  
  
~*~  
  
".I wanted to see it in the theater actually, but I never got a chance," Daisuke is saying. I nod absently as he rambles on about the movie he rented for our sleepover; my parents went out to dinner and a movie, so we have the house to ourselves until about 10:30. "Ken?" I look up to see him watching me with a little concern. "You alright? You're kinda...you know...spaced."  
  
"I'm sorry, I was thinking. What were you saying?"  
  
"I said that the other 'Destined are planning a picnic when Mimi comes to visit next month, do you want to come?"  
  
"You know I'm not invited."  
  
"Well, I'm inviting you; so now you are." Poor Dai-chan, he's trying so hard to mend things; he doesn't like seeing his friends divided.  
  
"You're sweet," I tell him. "Naïve at times, but very sweet. We've been through this before, you know it wouldn't work. They won't want me there, and that will just cause strain; then someone will pick a fight, probably Takeru, and I'll loose control again."  
  
"But, you're doing better now..."  
  
"That doesn't mean that I should voluntarily put myself in a very stressful situation." I smile at him. Very sweet. Very naïve. "You go ahead though; your other friends are probably feeling neglected since you've been spending so much time with me." I glance at the clock. "I'd better start dinner."  
  
"What are you making?"  
  
"Yakiniku."  
  
"Oishii!" He grins at me. "Can I play?" He indicates my Playstation.  
  
"Of course."  
  
~*~  
  
Watching a knife slice through flesh is a very hypnotic thing.  
  
Elegant in a morbid sort of way.the blade parting meat and fat all neatly and precisely into thin strips.  
  
Hypnotic... Elegant... Morbid...  
  
"Hey, Ken...your Playstation's being weird again."  
  
I look up at him, standing by the counter, and uninvited thoughts bombard me...  
  
Light sliding across blade...across blood...blood on the floor...blood on his skin.on my skin...from his skin...blade slicing through flesh...his flesh...my blade.  
  
Elegant... Morbid...  
  
...no...  
  
The knife clatters to the floor and I drop to my knees, clutching my head as if to protect my mind from those thoughts.  
  
"Ken!" Daisuke starts to come to my side.  
  
"Konai de!!" I shout at him, desperately. Naturally, he doesn't listen. His fingers are touching my shoulder when mine find the knife; I start laughing as I clutch it.  
  
"Ken..." He embraces me from the side. "You should have told me--"  
  
It's funny; I thought he'd look more surprised to find a knife at his throat.  
  
"Do you really want to do that?" He asks.  
  
"Don't think I won't," I hiss back.  
  
He puts his hand on my cheek; I turn my face and bite it over the thumb joint... not quite hard enough to break the skin, but definitely hard enough to bruise. He cries out and I feel a sick coil of satisfaction in the pit of my stomach.  
  
"Is this what you want, Ken?" He asks, through gritted teeth. "To hurt someone?"  
  
I release his hand.  
  
"I like your pain," I tell him, smirking. "I like that I have the power to make you feel that way." I bow my head into his shoulder, guilt overwhelming me suddenly. "I don't want to like it so much..." I cry into his shoulder.  
  
~*~  
  
When I finally looked up at him, he had a look in his eyes...a look that I hadn't seen on him before.  
  
Dark... Considering...  
  
I didn't know what to make of it.  
  
It always amazes me how easy it is to pick up and continue on as if nothing had happened.  
  
I finished making dinner, we ate, and then we watched our movie; when my parents came home, we went to bed and talked for a while about nothing important.  
  
Through it all, that odd look never completely left his eyes...  
  
It was disturbing to me that I had no _idea_ what he could be planning.  
  
~*~ A/N: The other chapter and the Epilogue are finished now, actually; it didn't take me very long ^_^ but I'm not going to publish them all at once.  
  
Review onegai shimasu! 


	5. Chapter 4 Courage and Friendship

A/N: This was _amazingly_ easy to write, all things considered. If you want me to put up the argument that the DD had with Daisuke about Ken, please review and ask for it; it'll be a side-story.  
  
Warnings: Dark, Angst, Bondage, Torture, Slight Yaoi w/ a little twist of Lime. Shaken, not stirred ^_^.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Chapter 4 - Courage and Friendship  
  
I'm finishing my homework when there's a knock at the door. You can imagine my surprise when I find Hikari on the other side; she looks distinctly uncomfortable, not that I blame her.  
  
"Ken..." she says, as if she doesn't know what to say.  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"We were wondering if you'd seen Davis lately?"  
  
"I talked to him on the phone yesterday, but I haven't seen him since Saturday," I tell her.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"I thought maybe he was spending more time with the Digidestined."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to worry," she says, falsely casual. "He didn't choose us."  
  
"Choose?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, you know; he chose to be friends with you instead of us."  
  
"I wasn't aware that it was necessary for him to choose between the two."  
  
"Oh come on, Ken!" She snorts, annoyance coloring her voice. "He hardly spends any time with the rest of us anymore! That's what you wanted, isn't it!?"  
  
"Do you want to come in?" I ask, my voice cool. "I don't think it's very considerate for the neighbors to have to hear you yelling at me." She glares at me, cheeks flushed, as she walks past me into the house. I shut the door behind her.  
  
"Contrary to what you may think, I am not a self-centered bastard," I tell her coldly. "I have no intention of cutting Daisuke off from his friends or making him choose between us just because we happen not to get along. If he is feeling pressure to choose, which was not my impression the last time we talked, it is not coming from me." Something occurs to me. "Did you have a fight with him about me?" She looks away. "You did."  
  
"It isn't _healthy_ for him to be around you!" She says, angrily. "You _bite_ him, for God's sake!"  
  
"I _bit_ him, _once_," I correct her. "And I agree that I'm not a good person to be around right now; but I _did_ try to get him to leave before, and it didn't work. He's kind, but he's also naïve. He doesn't see that I'm poison. I suppose I'm grateful to him for that."  
  
She blinks. She wasn't expecting that.  
  
"I won't blame him if he wakes up one morning and realizes that I'm not worth the trouble." I tell her. "But forgive me if I hope that it never happens; his friendship is the most important thing in my life at the moment." I open the front door for her. "If I talk to him, I'll tell him to call you."  
  
~*~  
  
After my parents were asleep I received an E-Mail from Daisuke, asking me to come to the Digital World.  
  
"Daisuke, it's late," I tell him.  
  
"Yeah, I know," he says.  
  
"Why here?" I ask.  
  
"You know where we are, right?"  
  
"About a quarter of a mile from one of my old bases."  
  
"Yeah; we found it when we were looking for back when you were still the Kaizer."  
  
"I stopped using it just after you came to the Digital World the first time."  
  
"Mm-hm. Let's go." He turned to where our Digimon were talking a short distance away. "C'mon guys, let's go!"  
  
"Daisuke, what's going on?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
Daisuke refuses to answer my questions as we walk to the base. When we finally get there, he tells V-mon and Worm-mon to wait at the entrance and Daisuke takes my hand and leads me deeper into the base.  
  
"When we found the base we searched it from top to bottom, looking for clues." I close my eyes, knowing what's coming next. "You know what we found?"  
  
"A torture chamber," I reply.  
  
"Right."  
  
"I didn't know they were more than data. It seemed like a good solution."  
  
"I know." He squeezes my hand.  
  
We descend a flight of stairs and he opens the door at the bottom. I don't want to go in, but he pulls me inside anyway and shuts the door behind us.  
  
"What are we doing here, Daisuke?" I ask, looking at the floor; refusing to see the contents of the room.  
  
"You need a reality check," He states, taking off his jacket and dropping it on the floor. "I noticed something that I don't think you've realized yet."  
  
"Wakarimasen. (I don't understand)"  
  
"Look around," he commands.  
  
I do.  
  
I finally know what he's been doing all this week. The room has been cleaned, the small fireplace in the far wall has been lit, the worn leather restraints on the low table in the center of the room have been replaced, and a number of implements are sitting neatly on the small table next to it...ready to be used...  
  
"Daisuke, no!" I turn to the door and try to open it, but it's locked.  
  
"V-mon has the key; he'll open the door in an hour." He sits on the low table.  
  
"What are you thinking?" I whisper.  
  
"I'm thinking I'm going to let you do whatever you want to me," he tells me.  
  
"You don't know what that means!" I object, starting to panic. "You don't know what I can do to you!"  
  
"Yes, I do," he tells me. "I know what you're capable of. And I _do_ know what it means, to let you do what you want; the thing is, _you_ don't." He lays down on the table and puts his hands into the leather cuffs above his head.  
  
"Go on," he prompts me. "Fasten them." I hesitate for a minute before doing so, then I restrain his legs as well.  
  
"Now," he says. "Whatever you want."  
  
The look in his eyes, not the dark, contemplative look he wore before...  
  
This look hurts...and I don't understand it...  
  
What is he _expecting_?  
  
"It's alright," he murmurs. "Just do what you want."  
  
I look at the implements on the small table; remembering their past uses excites and, at the same time, sickens me.  
  
Something simple, then...  
  
I take up a small, sharp blade; like a cross between a scalpel and a paring knife, and turn back to him.  
  
First thing's first. Get rid of the clothes.  
  
I cut down the middle of his shirt, cloth parting to reveal perfectly tanned skin; it has always been a marvel to me how perfect his skin is, it would be a shame to damage it. I slice open the sleeves and pull the ruined shirt out from under him; I smirk at the hiss he makes when his bare back comes in contact with the cold metal of the table. Holding the knife between my teeth, I straddle his body, looking into his eyes.  
  
The expression in his eyes is still the same; it still sends a painful jolt to the core of my being.  
  
What are you saying, Dai-chan? I can't hear you...  
  
I take the knife from my mouth, and lay the flat of the blade against the hollow where his throat meets his collarbone, then running it down his sternum, bringing it back to his throat, then running it back down, until I feel him relax. I smirk as I twist the blade and leave a thin, shallow scratch just below his collarbone.  
  
He cries out, part from pain, but more from surprise.  
  
Weren't expecting _that_, were you, Dai-chan?  
  
I lean down and lick away the thin line of blood from his chest, smirking all the while.  
  
"With a knife this thin, I could cut you all over and you'd heal without scarring your beautiful skin; you wouldn't bleed too much either, but it would hurt a lot."  
  
"Like getting paper-cuts everywhere," he observes.  
  
"Yes," I say, making another shallow cut just above his navel. "Pity we don't have lemon juice."  
  
He winces and I laugh as I get off of him.  
  
I put the knife back and pick up a small metal poker, going to the fire to heat it. Not too hot, because, as I said, I don't want to damage his skin...yet...but enough to hurt.  
  
When I come back, I lean over his stomach and slide my tongue into his navel to clean away the blood that collected there from the cut. He gasps, and I look up to see him blushing.  
  
"Liked that, did you?" He blushes even more; kawaii...  
  
I take the poker, and slide it down the same path I traced with the knife. This time, he screams.  
  
The skin reddens, but doesn't quite blister. Good, I didn't misjudge the heat.  
  
"Mada wakarimasu ka, Daisuke? (Do you understand yet?)" I ask him.  
  
"Is this what you want, Ken?" is his reply. "To hurt someone?"  
  
"Yes!" I shout at him. "Yes! That's what I want!"  
  
"I don't think that's true."  
  
A flicker of annoyance and impatience fills me, and I slide the poker across his stomach. He screams again.  
  
"Why did you bring me back here!?!" I yell at him. "Why did you put me in this situation!?! Why are you putting yourself at my mercy!?!" His eyes burn into me... "What did you expect!?! What is that look in your eyes!?! I don't understand!!!  
  
"It _is_ true!!! I want to hurt someone!!! I want to hurt YOU!!! And I HATE THAT!!!" I stop, gasping for breath, and I'm startled to feel the tears running down my face.  
  
"Why are you making me do this...?" I whisper; my face only inches from his; as I try desperately to understand the expression in his eyes.  
  
"I'm not," he says, smiling. "I'm not making you do anything. I only told you to do what you want." Then he's the one who surprises me; because his lips are suddenly pressed to mine in a kiss that's just like him; energetic, sweet, and so very naïve.  
  
You know that feeling you sometimes get, like something's staring you in the face, like you're one step from an epiphany, and you can't quite reach it? That's what this moment is like... The truth is hiding between the heartbeats, between the breaths, in that strange look in Daisuke's eyes, and I just don't understand.  
  
Then, suddenly...  
  
Inexplicably...  
  
...I do.  
  
Courage and Friendship together make Trust...  
  
And Trust must be met with...  
  
...Kindness... 


	6. Epilogue Choice

Warnings: None really.  
  
Trust and Kindness  
  
Epilogue - Choice  
  
Daisuke _did_ see something that I hadn't realized yet. I didn't really _want_ to hurt anyone; I hated that I enjoyed it so much. That doesn't mean that Daisuke's gambit wasn't stupid; it was _incredibly_ stupid! If I hadn't finally realized what he was trying to show me, I could have ended up damaging him irreparably, or worse!  
  
It's gotten easier now; the thoughts are still there, but I know that I'm not going to act on them. It's my choice; I am responsible for my own actions, and I know the difference between right and wrong. I still lash out when I'm angry, wince at the thoughts that abruptly flash through my mind sometimes, and fantasize about things that would give most people nightmares, but the fear of loosing control is all but gone.  
  
As for the DigiDestined picnic...Daisuke persevered and managed to convince the others that it would be okay if I come for the last hour of it. He's still trying to mend fences, and I still think that it's probably a lost cause.  
  
Daisuke hasn't kissed me since that night, but that doesn't bother me much one way or the other. We're just kids, after all; most people don't get into serious relationships at the age of twelve. A few years from now...who knows? But for now, it really doesn't bear thinking about; he's the best friend anyone could ever hope for...  
  
...and that's enough.  
  
A/N: Whew! Finally done! Congratulations me!  
  
There will probably be a sequel, from Daisuke's POV this time, but it will be a while, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do. 


End file.
